Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
