There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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