she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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