I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
