Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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