my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize