im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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