I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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