We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
