Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
