lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize