You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize