She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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