I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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