A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
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He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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