I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
