mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
