the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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