I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
