How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
