You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
a search helicopter?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
