He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
