I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
