New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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