I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
