Screwed.edu
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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