Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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