He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
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Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
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I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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