the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
