Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
