I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
