she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
