we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
