hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize