you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
