I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
