He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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