I wish my penis had an off switch
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
