Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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