so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
