Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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