Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
