How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
