i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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