I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
