Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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