Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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