ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
