I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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