it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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