At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
