i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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