At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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