Whod you bang
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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