Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
