obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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