I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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