I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
