So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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