And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
