Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize