too bad you live with your parents still
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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